It sounds strange, but this is a problem for me. After years of chaos, incredible stress, and unpredictable situations with my son, I finally have realized that learning to live even a day or a few days without that chaos is difficult. It happened to me just the other day. I had just made an unexpected & unplanned trip to Iowa, 650 miles one way, with both children due to my dad having a severe accident. Within 10 days, I drove 2 1/2 days, took care of both parents, their home, put meals in the freezer, helped my sister to prep their house with everything they needed, visited with most of my family, and took care of my own children. By the end of the week, I was spending every extra time I had with my son to make sure he was making it through this whirlwind successfully. After arriving home and crashing, I took a few days to catch my house up and make up a few appointments I had missed, buying groceries, and so on. I hadn't been home more than a week and a pastor spoke on getting out of the bleachers and getting into the fight. For some reason I immediately thought I wasn't doing enough and felt guilty. For instance, one day I feel asleep for a nap and slept almost 2 1/2 hours. I honestly felt guilt for that.
My mom is the reality check in my life when I get things messed up and we talk often. She is more aware of what I deal with on a daily basis, sometimes more than I am. I shared with her that I was feeling guilty and not doing enough. She reminded me how much effort it takes from me to keep my home running, especially when my husband is working so many hours right now. She also graciously reminded me how much effort it takes to keep my son functioning at any sense of normal level and how delicate that balance is. She knows it takes a slight routine change to set things awry and quick! I know this, too, but for some reason, when the chaos quiets and I get a gift of respite, my motor that is used to running fast and furious forgets how to idle down and relax and enjoy the respite.
This respite gift may come in not having too much to do in a day. My advice, don't go ahead and schedule something in that time; take a nap, read a book, take a walk, go shopping, take a long hot bath... You get my drift. For us, I am primary care-giver and it's just me and his dad usually 24/7. Most of the time we can handle it and live life fairly normal. We have seasons though, we aren't even a year away from the last one that lasted over 2 months, that we are literally on duty 24/7, sleeping in his room and constantly aware of where he is and what he is doing every minute, re-directing, calming, helping him get through a day.
If you are a parent of an autistic or mentally ill child you understand that it takes so little to upset them when life's routines are messed with. Something simple like a cold sends my son crashing into utter despair. If you are a care-giver, you should understand, too.
So today, I want to encourage you to learn to live every moment you are given of little to no chaos in your life. Accept it as a gift of respite. They are nuggets of gold that help you get through what is next. Believe me, there will be plenty more ahead that will require your motor to run non-stop. Please take this time and regain the strength, stamina, and courage you need to continue on your journey.
I pray if you need that gift of respite, you will soon find it. If you are in a gift of respite, I hope I have encouraged you to accept it as a rare gift. You deserve it.
Thanks for stopping by. Please feel free to share this blog with anyone on a similar journey. My hope is to encourage!
Lynne
No comments:
Post a Comment