The Comfort of Routine

Today, it's Monday, and the comfort of an established routine has been back in place.  The Christmas decorations are down, well, all except the wreaths on the doors which I forgot.  The college son is back to school and the remnants of him living in the den are not evident anymore.  At breakfast we sat and regrouped about what was needed for daily tasks.  My son and I discussed my upcoming new employment from the house in a month or so and how that would affect him.  Forecasting is so ever present in our house. We found out Sunday, that my husband sometimes isn't as good as he should be about forecasting the details that might set my son off.   But we work as a team and we made an adjustment to the day's plans and went home after lunch.  Now, we usually don't eat out anymore on Sundays.  Besides the expense for our family, the noise, crowds, and unfamiliar people cause my son unnecessary  stress.  Yesterday we went to an earlier church and were able to go eat and get out before the huge crowds.  It's amazing to think about all the things we do to help him cope with life.  Some might think it's catering to him, but in reality, we are still coming out of a very difficult season and have a long way to go to settle down.  Every thing we do affects him.

My suggestions after the holidays are as follows.  Get everything back to "normal" or routine as soon as possible.  We had to wait until his brother was back at college and not living in the den.  But as soon as we returned home from taking him, the den was cleaned up and looking like it usually looks.  This sounds so simple.  But it was huge for my son to get up the next morning to find that room back in order and feeling like he was used to.  It made the adjustment feel better.
I also moved the fifth chair out of the dining room so there were only four at the table for dinner that night.  Since we eat around the table and always have, it made missing my oldest who had sat there for the past 4 weeks easier on all of us, but especially my son.

I find my journey a learning experience almost everyday.  I hope that sharing what I discover will help others who are walking a similar journey.  Being a parent of a mentally ill, autistic child has great challenges and great rewards.  He continues to help me be the best person I can be.  He makes me laugh and when he overcomes, we all celebrate with him!  It's so much fun. 

Thanks for stopping by,

Lynne

It's a new year

I just wanted to say, it's been a season.  The holidays, the family, mood swings, unfamiliar events and situations.  It's been a season that I have mentioned before.  The one you feel like you know nothing.  The times you feel like you are taking 4 steps forward only to take 5 steps back. You pull out all your tools in the toolbox to help your child cope with it all, but nothing seems to work.  The sessions at therapy become difficult and seems to cause more harm then good.  The world around you continues not to "get" the realness of what daily life is like.
 
It knocks the wind out of you.  It makes you isolate, hyper focus, retreat so you can survive.  During this time, communication has been limited.  No Christmas cards were sent out, gifts were simple, days have been spent creating ways to keep him going and engaged to lessen the stress of the onslaught of multiple illness related symptoms.

Although the holidays, change of routine, schedule, etc is about to be over, then there is the adjustment of losing the big brother back to college.  This is always difficult.  There is also new symptoms which are being monitored.  Honestly, my heart is saying, "Really"

So, here's the reality, I told you I am sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I honestly don't considered any of it literally ugly, for I have a God, a personally involved real power, who walks us through, both me, my husband and my son and other children.  He holds us, carries us when necessary, and even though it might feel ugly, with HIS perspective, it's never really is.

We are blessed.  God has chosen us.  All of our children are precious gifts with uniqueness that will and do affect this world for Him.

Thanks for stopping by,
I will attempt to harvest communication to continue to encourage those walking a similar journey.

Lynne