The Comfort of Routine

Today, it's Monday, and the comfort of an established routine has been back in place.  The Christmas decorations are down, well, all except the wreaths on the doors which I forgot.  The college son is back to school and the remnants of him living in the den are not evident anymore.  At breakfast we sat and regrouped about what was needed for daily tasks.  My son and I discussed my upcoming new employment from the house in a month or so and how that would affect him.  Forecasting is so ever present in our house. We found out Sunday, that my husband sometimes isn't as good as he should be about forecasting the details that might set my son off.   But we work as a team and we made an adjustment to the day's plans and went home after lunch.  Now, we usually don't eat out anymore on Sundays.  Besides the expense for our family, the noise, crowds, and unfamiliar people cause my son unnecessary  stress.  Yesterday we went to an earlier church and were able to go eat and get out before the huge crowds.  It's amazing to think about all the things we do to help him cope with life.  Some might think it's catering to him, but in reality, we are still coming out of a very difficult season and have a long way to go to settle down.  Every thing we do affects him.

My suggestions after the holidays are as follows.  Get everything back to "normal" or routine as soon as possible.  We had to wait until his brother was back at college and not living in the den.  But as soon as we returned home from taking him, the den was cleaned up and looking like it usually looks.  This sounds so simple.  But it was huge for my son to get up the next morning to find that room back in order and feeling like he was used to.  It made the adjustment feel better.
I also moved the fifth chair out of the dining room so there were only four at the table for dinner that night.  Since we eat around the table and always have, it made missing my oldest who had sat there for the past 4 weeks easier on all of us, but especially my son.

I find my journey a learning experience almost everyday.  I hope that sharing what I discover will help others who are walking a similar journey.  Being a parent of a mentally ill, autistic child has great challenges and great rewards.  He continues to help me be the best person I can be.  He makes me laugh and when he overcomes, we all celebrate with him!  It's so much fun. 

Thanks for stopping by,

Lynne